我一直沒有渴望過同居生活，我喜歡兩個人之間的距離，即使不單身，卻也能夠享受自由的生活。或许，我的想法比较封建，在还未确定自己是否想跟这个人一直生活下去的时候，我是不会轻言说同居的。当然，金钱、时间及其他微小因素也是考量的部分。
有人说，相爱和相处本来就是两回事。倘若你从来没有跟这个人一起生活过，没有看过他的生活习惯或比较随行的一面，你怎么知道你将来你若跟他结婚，大家都能够接受彼此的生活方式。
如果像人们说的，这是个速食的年代，凡事都追求快速、新鲜及快乐，连牛奶都会出问题，更何况是看似清晰、触似遥远的爱情？如果真的必须在尝试与另一半生活以后才发现彼此是否真的生活在一起，我宁可选择二人旅行。
从策划、打点到启程，这其中不泛于许多抉择性的时刻，如决定出游的时间和日期、目的地、住宿（包括该从哪个网站预定住宿）、搜索当地旅游的资料和观光景点、兑换钱币、当天出发的时间等等。抵达旅游的目的地以后，每一天的行程都由你们两个自行决定，日复一日地24小时相处，加上旅途上有许多的未知数，若连这些都能一一克服，感情会变得更加坚固，更奠定了两人一起走下去的决心。
当然，每件事都有两个切面图。二人旅行的坏处是，有人回来以后就不断地投诉旅行时的不悦，而最坏的下场是，两人宣告分手，但想一想，短暂旅行发现不合而分手，这代价比起同居或结婚了几年才发现两人根本不适合在一起生活来得轻。
尽管身边的朋友逐渐和他们的另一半宣告步入人生的另一阶段，或进阶到另一种生活方式，也许我也曾经闪过那一种想要的念头，但倘若认真的想，我的人生还要许多假设性，实在没有必要在这一刻为自己设下任何的框框。
我比较爱我自己，当然，你也可以这么说。
9 comments:
擧腳贊成妳的説法！結婚和同居不一樣，日常生活上的不協調在走入婚姻後會變成一種責任，那就會互相遷就和配合。
如果同居，大部分的人都會有個想法：反正沒結婚，覺得不適合分開也比較乾淨利落，無需拖拖拉拉，但這樣反而顛倒了兩個人因相愛而決定一起生活的本質。
其實二人旅行倒真的可以挑戰我們對另一半的毅力了，我想我是時候開始接受之前無法接受的缺點，好讓我以後的生活會快樂些，哈哈。
那二人旅行至少要去三天以上吧，很多事情都必須妥協或遷就，吵兩句是免不了的。。哈
是的，放下的確會讓生活快樂一點。。。
Actually,
Co-habit and co-holidaying, are different thing too.
No?
Sia
A normal point of view from a normal man:
1) when it's on holiday, just enjoy the holiday to the fullest.
1.1) he might be judging you like how you are judging him, how does it sound?
1.2) in the end of evaluation process, you might missed the opportunity to enjoy to the fullest
2) you can see marriage as an investment and/or gambling
2.1) betting on luck is gambling
2.1.1) if you want quick way of understanding co-living habit, co-habiting is not a bad idea; but co-habit is equal to an easier and more convenient "exit option"
2.1.2) or else, you can just get married and enjoy surprise of either better or worse from your expectation or; best, is even w/o an prior expectation!
2.2) well-communication and understanding before making next move is investment
2.2.1) rather than observing how one act during holiday, might want to openly discuss what's both of your's bottom tolerate level, it's good to understand both bottom line, and prepared for the worst; there can never be perfection in all aspects; so try getting co-understanding on tolerate level and work toward it to prevent it, or ways of overcoming it
2.2.2) can't judge on holidaying, unless you state it clear that the trip's main objective is to observe and test each other; but again, I can give or show you the best in 100 days, but maybe not the same for 1000 or 10000 days' cases
So, how?
Cheers!
Sia
[oops, long post cos i'm interested in this topic, and from my replies, you'll know where I stand, if you'd like to make a guess]
"我比较爱我自己，当然，你也可以这么说。"
Xiang lai xiang qu, hai shi jue de,
Ni bi jiao xiang qu lu xing!
nuff said ;)
sia, i try to digest your long reply...can't help laughing non-stop here...let me take a deep breathe and reply u later...
旅行的长短也许无法保证或保障两个人以后是否能生活在一起，但至少能让彼此都了解或体验两人的相处模式，并是让爱情更持久的方式(前提是两个人都经历过旅行并拥有愉快的旅程)。
从一般女生的观点看来，我们都潜意识设定了和他一起去旅行是愉快的，不会想到说旅行的意义是为了测试大家以后能不能在一起生活。当然，在旅途上发生的种种会让大家重新去看看彼此，若能迁就，感情就升温；反之。。。。。。
我同意你说的，沟通很重要，但口说无凭，实践也很重要！
如果要在结婚前体验一下二人生活，在同居和二人旅行之间，我还是宁可选择旅行，至少不会因为同居久了，彼此也许也腻了。
你是选择直接结婚的，因为你相信有了沟通和了解，才是婚姻的基础:)
Thanks for your long reply :p
I think the more important pre-requisite is both guy and lady have to be very true to each other about his/her lifestyle; therefore can we take co-holiday as some pre-marriage reference.
Otherwise, we can show you the best, or tolerate you for 10-100 days, but not 1000-10000 days.
In the end, as you mentioned, is about practical action and only boil down to:
1) money-related issue
Solution: find more money (guys) or lower down expectation (girls), of course, vice versa
Possible Test-accomplished:
i) increase EQ, AQ, IQ and stress level
ii) financial planning & priority ranking
iii) persuasion
iv) self-motivation to achieve higher goals
2) non money-related issue
Solution: you better accept it if it really possess no physical harm to you; otherwise, changing someone for you, is as hard as, changing yourself for someone.
Possible Test-Accomplished:
i) prone to critics
ii) art of critic and giving constructive suggestions
iii) art of accepting critic
iv) will to change and change
v) accepting something you wanted to have it changed but nevermind, anymore.
vi) treasure each other more
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are really no insurance for marriage, and the safest and most convenient, is still, co-habit;
just as there are really no insurance for pregnancy, and the safest would be wearing the "helmet"
The gap between co-holiday and co-habit; might be as big, if not bigger than between co-habit and marriage.
Therefore, before you revisit the options of going for co-habit or direct-marriage, just "naked naked, bottom bottom"
Enjoy your holiday!!
That's the best thing we could do, to treasure the moments and relationship!
Ah, I realised why I say so much,
possibly because I hope you don't put too high hope or too serious on thinking co-holiday as pre-marriage reference.
It might be unfair.
:)
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